Stevie's Picks on hiatus until next season.

Sorry fans, but due to my new job and work schedule Stevie's Picks will be delayed until next season when it will be easier to get him to pick results. I will also not have a weekly blog, but will try to get in what I can, until further notice. Not that any of you give a fuck anyway.

Anyway, NMSU beat UNM, then got handed another loss at the hand of Rocky Long and SDSU. Boise State is in the top 5. Chokelahoma lived up to their name tonight. UTEP blasted Houston. And the college football world is still a clusterfuck!

That's all for now, off to bed soon, and wish me luck getting used to my CPAP machine.

My Week 3 Picks

It's almost 9:30 MST. So here are my pregame picks for week 3!

California is going to smear Minnesota.

Florida is going to smack around Tennessee, as much as I hate to pick Florida.

I think Virginia Tech will pull a fast one on Nebraska and win in a close battle.

Utah will sucker punch Oregon.

Michigan State should edge out Notre Dame, which will continue their season downfall.

Nevada just might score today, and in victorious style against Colorado State.

I think Florida State just might upset BYU, but my instincts are telling me that the Cougars will win this one.

Air Force will cluster bomb New Mexico into submission.

My game of the week: UTEP @ NMSU. I can go two ways on this one, NMSU can win this if they can get their offense going, but if not UTEP is going to stomp them. I am calling this one a draw in theory. Either way the Aggies will either win by 3 or lose by 10.

That's it for todays picks, enjoy your football, fans!

Stevie's Picks Week 3, Saturday, September 19th (Last Minute Again!)

Whew, barely got these picks done a couple hours ago! We have been so busy with my new job I almost forgot.

Stevie continues to be very bold with his predictions, and we will start out with the Florida @ Tennessee matchup. Stevie told me that the Volunteers are indeed going to be singing "Rocky Top" all night after they upset #1 Florida. Don't ask me why he thinks this, it must be because he broke into the fridge and found my beer. BAD STEVIE!

Utah against Oregon. Stevie is picking the obvious, Utah. Stevie believes Oregon just doesn't have that heavy PAC-10 punch anymore, and by punch, they mean Blount.

Nevada will walk over to Colorado to duel with Colorado State. Stevie has his doubts but he feels that Nevada will make up for their sloth-like performance against the Lucky Charms All-Stars. Nevada better make sure they load their pistol this time.

San Diego State will make a pit stop at the Kibbie Dump to slap fight Idaho. Stevie is pulling for the Aztecs predicting that Idaho will break a nail late in the first half and end up hiding in the corner the rest of the game.

Utah State will land their planes at College Station, get the shit beat out of them, get back on their planes, watch reruns of "Monk" while eating unsalted peanuts, then land in a place almost as undesirable as playing Texas A & M. Yes, a 7 week old baby couldn't get this one wrong, he picks A & M.

Offensively inept San Jose State goes to "Nerd Central" of the PAC-10 Stanford for what may be their third loss of the season. Stevie would like to pick the Spartans, but he thinks Stanford has the upper hand, and collective ACT scores, to outmatch their nearby WAC opponent.

Hawaii is going to VEGAS baby! They are also playing a football game against the Runnin' Rebels. Stevie must have been impressed with their victory over Washed Up State, and week 1 win over some team that probably got paid a lot of money to almost win. Yes, Hawaii should be victorious today, according to Stevie.

WAC GAME OF THE WEEK: Utep visits New Mexico State. The battle of I-10 will certainly be an entertaining game. After an "OH so CLOSE!" loss to Buffalo, and an LAPD style beating issued to them from Kansas, UTEP could definately use a tune up game. Will it be against the Aggies, who are still foaming at the mouth to get a quality victory? Last week the Aggies scraped by Prairie View A & M 21-18, and are still stinging from a loss to Idaho. Stevie has not lost all confidence in the Aggies, as he has picked them to win their 3rd straight against the Whiners.

Stevie's (Last Minute) Picks Week 2, Saturday, September 12th

Stevie has been a handful this week. He finally agreed to make his picks after negotiating his bedtime, curfew, and allowance rate, which will go into effect when he turns 14. So, at the last possible minute we have his week 2 picks. Hard to believe it is 4 AM!

Hawaii has flown over to play Washington State. Stevie says this one is in the bag for Washington State since most of the Hawaii players will be drunk off of cider or trying to recover from Apple Flu. He also thinks the Wahine will go into today's game with too big of an ego after their brilliant defeat of Central Southland Upstate Arkansas Forest Community College... wait, I think he was talking about William and Mary's brilliant bitch slapping of Virginia. Still, Stevie says winning a game by a field goal and a safety against one of Arkansas best third or fourth choice non BCS football teams is something to brag about.

Utah actually cares to visit California without a political agenda! They will be playing San Jose State in game two of their Whack the WAC tour. Of course, Stevie knows best and has picked Utah to win this one in a landslide, despite what he thinks of Mormons.

Idaho will be yet another WAC team stuck in Washington, to play the same. Stevie doesn't think the massive Vandal O-line will be able to push "Shoestring McCarty" through the endzone too much. He says watch this game if you want to see an even better battle of the bottom feeders.

Louisiana Tech travels to the "docks" in what promises to be an interesting abttle with NAVY. Both teams coming off losses, this should be a back and forth fight. Stevie has picked NAVY to win this one. Damn, WAC, he just doesn't have confidence in you this week!

Fresno State will growl at Wisconsin for 60 minutes in the nice tropical part of the Great Lakes region, at least to Canadians. This revenge game should set the tone for the 'Dogs who are coming off of a blowout tuneup game. Stevie makes his pick in favor of Fresno.

Miami of Ohio gets a taste of the blue turf as they meet Boise State today. For some reason he has picked Miami to win, I guess out of sheer spite since he couldn't negotiate a car for when he turns 16. This should be Stevies booboo pick of the week. He can be such a jerk at times!

Iowa at Iowa State. Stevie feels strongly that Iowa just didn't get anything out of their "near hit" against Northern Iowa. He gives this one to the home team. I just might agree with him.

Purdue at Oregon. Stevie is putting some faith in the Boilermakers. He insisted that losing to Boise last week was just too much for Oregon to handle and we should expect a season meltdown of Michigan proportions. Purdue will be tops and this time Blount will have to punch a fan.

Stevie's Pick of the Week

USC AT OHIO STATE!

Stevie says this will be a big upset for USC. According to Stevie, Ohio State isn't prepared enough after their NAVY game last week and USC pretty much figured everything out last week and should be ready to go. He guesses USC will win by 15.

Week 1 Recap

Well, let's just say that it was a rough week for the WAC. Not even Boise State's victory over Oregon can cover up the brown streak on the WAC's tighty whities. I am sad to say my prediction of Nevada playing like a football team was wrong. Hawaii just edged out, what's their name, Central Arkansas, yeah. I knew San Jose State would lose, but not lose lose, I am not sure about their defense yet, but as usual, they have no offense. Louisiana Tech kept Auburn under 50 points, which is fine with me. I wish I could have watched that game.

One game I really enjoyed was Idaho @ NMSU. I've been looking forward to seeing if NMSU's new coach would teach the defense how to tackle the opponents BEFORE they got to the endzone. Well, they learned how to by the second half. Too bad it was too late, they were already down by 21. The Aggie offense showed signs of life but mostly before turning the ball over. Congrats to Stephon Hatchett on getting a pick the next play after his TD was recalled. Player of the game is Princeton McCarty, just because he had a wide open TD run but tripped within the 5 yard line, classic! So, the Aggies lost 21-6, which isn't too bad, it could have been worse, Coach Walker seems to be doing something right.

I was right about Fresno. Big whoop.

Utah State played remarkably well against Utah, in my opinion. For this, I am making them my WAC team of the week. You may ask why would I pick a losing team for WAC team of the week? Because it's my blog dumbass!

Game of the week I really wish I saw: William and Mary @ Virginia

This past week's HA HA's and UH OH's

HA HA goes to Chokelahoma for contunuing their BCS IBS.

UH OH goes to Chokelahoma QB Sam Bradford, who apparently Chokelahoma cannot win without.

HA HA goes to Virginia who recently lost to a school that shouldn't even have a football team in the first place.

HA HA goes to Stevie for picking Troy as his #1 and also picking Virginia in his top 25 as well. I still love him though!

UH OH goes to Iowa for nearly losing to their little bitches up north, if it weren't for their defense blocking two straight FG's. This might spell trouble for them when they actually get to play a real team.

UH OH goes to LeGarrette Blount of Oregon, not only for his season suspension, but for his 8 rushes for a total of negative 5 yards.

More recap to come later as I analyze where Stevie and I went wrong with our picks.

Stevie's Picks Week 1, Saturday, September 5th

Stevie is excited for the first Saturday of football! So excited he couldn't focus on making picks for Thursday's games. But tonight he had some free time in between pooping, eating, crying, and sleeping to pick a few outcomes.

His first pick is a wise one.

USC over San Jose State: Stevie says San Jose State has as much offense as the Citadel has cheerleaders. He believes the Trojans will overcome the Spartan defense and prevail in a great classical asswhoopin.

Nevada over Notre Dame: Stevie keeps saying that the whole "Rudy" story is as fabricated as WMD's in Iraq. He predicts the Wolfpack will shoot their way all over the field, kinda like Tera Patrick's face.

Georgia over Oklahoma State: Two things Stevie believes whole-heartedly, there are no real cowboys in Oklahoma, and Bulldogs are fucking terrifying.

Akron over Penn State: Stevie is taking a shot in the dark here, and making a risky decision and calling the first huge upset of the season. "Those pesky MAC teams are getting pissed being surrounded by superior conferences, and they are getting their revenge", Stevie said last week while peeing on my hand.

Navy over Ohio State: He's going against me on this one, I think I'm right, we'll see though, Ohio State can't seem to really whoop any of their pre-conference tune up games.

NMSU over Idaho: This was a tough pick for him, he couldn't decide who had the worse advantage, NMSU and their snack shortage, or Idaho and their incredibly shitty road record.

Virginia Tech over Alabama: Stevie said "Forrest Gump was more bullshit than Rudy." Hollywood, my son has it out for you.

Louisiana Tech over Auburn: Stevie thinks the WAC is going to show overall improvement this season. There should be some good upsets and out of conference victories. It's a longshot for the Bulldogs, but they will shock the SEC and the BCS this Saturday.

BYU over Chokelahoma: Stevie basically said the same thing I said in my prediction.

That's it for Stevie's Picks for week 1!

The method I used this time was I held up the helmets for the two opposing teams in front of him, in which he would have to choose one to look at. Before I held them up, I swapped the helmets a random number of times without looking at which hand they were in. His pick was the first helmet he looked at, and he did vary on which hand he looked at.

Happy Football everyone!

Week 1 Saturday Picks

It is time for my picks for this Saturday's games. Following this portion will be Stevie's Picks for week 1.

It's finally here, week 1 of college football! I think I will try to predict some outcomes for a few games, including all the WAC games, aside from Thursday's Boise State game.

WAC GAMES

Hawaii is going to stomp the shit out of Central Arkansas. My figure is they will win by at least 30 points.

San Jose State will visit the Rose Bowl tomorrow, but it won't be a vacation. USC will win, by how much depends on how prepared the Spartan defense is. This game should show us how San Jose State will do in the WAC. If San Jose keeps the USC offense working hard for four quarters, then the rest of the WAC will have to put a check mark by them on their schedule.

Nevada travels to South Bend in an attempt to "pistol" whip the Fighting Irish. Well see a pretty good game, Nevada can run and Notre Dame can squeak out wins against San Diego State. I think Nevada will get the upset.

Louisiana Tech versus Auburn. A good tough challenge for Louisiana Tech. I don't think they will win, but they will hang in there with them. Last year they beat SEC foe Mississippi State, maybe they can repeat this feat. Auburn will simply out-athlete the Bulldogs.

WAC GAME OF THE WEEK!

I'll call this the bottom of the barrel bowl. New Mexico State with Idaho dragging into town for an all out slugfest to claw their way out of the WAC slop bucket. The winner of this game can have bragging rights for being #1 in the WAC until they continue WAC play later in the season, meaning the next time the play a WAC opponent. I am giving the Aggies the advantage in this one all based on their coach is better known than Idaho's new coach. Finally, no more 4th and long Air Raid, it has been exchanged for a balanced offense and hopefully an exciting defense. I would like to see Idaho at least try to win somewhere other than the Kibbie Dump, something they haven't done since 2006, fucking losers.

Fresno State gets to knaw on UC Davis, 'nuff said.

For the rest of the NCAA...

Ohio State is going to sink Navy.

Penn State should demolish Akron, pending a Joe Paterno injury.

Georgia will make sandwiches out of Oklahoma State, then proclaim their BCS dominance.

Michigan will lose an embarrassing match with Western Michigan.

Mizzou against Illillinaaaaye. 7 OT victory for Illinois, 56-53. I'm dead serious too.

BYU is going to upset Chokelahoma, who has decided to get their choke done at the beginning of the season so they can shoot for the Enron/Initech Blackwater Public Access TV Bowl, which they will lose.

UNM at Texas A & M. Your guess is as good as mine, if you think UNM will flop around the field for 60 minutes.

Well, that's it for now. Time to write up Stevies Picks!

Let's see how my predictions turn out! Maybe I can get college credit?

Stevie's Picks preseason Top 25

Yeah, I know my photo editing skills suck, I don't care. But the time has come for Stevie's top 25, or in this case his top 20, and the last five picked from the front of the shuffled pile. You might be surprised to see some of his picks.

I used a simple method to determine his picks. Since he is only a month old and cannot talk, I asked him to stick his tongue out when he made a pick. I shuffled the helmet printouts before beginning the arduous task of keeping his attention. I took the first helmet from the stack and showed it to him. I counted to five for each helmet and based on whether or not he stuck his tongue out the helmet was placed either at the bottom of the stack, or in the top 25 pile.

So, let's get to it! Here is Stevie's Picks Top 25!

#1. Troy University Trojans. This team from the Scum Belt Conference is obviously Stevie's ideal candidate from the BCS buster conference in the making. According to Stevie Troy is pumped up about their potential to knock off Florida after their tune up game against MAC contender Bowling Green.
#2. Colorado Buffaloes. "The Big 12 cellar dwellers are much better than people think", says Stevie. I think that's what he meant when he was staring at me. Better to say they were just resting up last season. Plan on seeing them battle to the death with every team they play. I guess Stevie is tired of seeing Chokelahoma win the Big 12 and then play like they all have herpes in their bowl game.
#3. Oregon Ducks. This Pac 10 powerhouse has everything, a cool name, green helmets, and a season opener against Boise St. Stevie expects the Ducks to poop all over the ugly blue turf and make it a real color that can only be called "Stevie Green". If Oregon can keep their bowel movements regular they may be playing for the NC.
#4. Mississippi Rebels. The SEC's personal "Keep Florida in check" team has one thing that sets them at the top of the SEC, southern dialect written on their helmet. Stevie thinks they may manage to distract the English majors on the opponents teams with their incorrect usage and lazy abbreviations. With this advantage they shouldn't have to compete with Tim Teblow and the other SEC Heisman talent.
#5. Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Yeah, Stevie is looking forward to the return of "Rudy". Not much else he wanted to say about his pick, except they better not suck against Nevada.
#6. Washington Huskies. I don't know what to say, Stevie is a radical. I'll agree that his pick is legit if they can beat Idaho. Why are they still in the PAC 10?
#7. Akron Zips. The always top team in the MAC (alphabetically), should shock the universe when the blow out Penn State like a motor that ran out of Quaker State. Their big challenge will be Buffalo, if they can beat them they will be on pace to reach a BCS bowl.
#8. West Virginia Mountaineers. The Big East may have one team with a chance at the NC, maybe West Virginia will beat that team.
#9. Louisville Cardinals. They will compete well with conference rival West Virginia, possibly ending in a tie for the Big East title.
#10. Rutgers Scarlet Knights. Another Big East team in the top ten! What has Stevie been drinking? I expect them to fail miserably, and even struggle against Howard.
#11. Auburn University Tigers. The Alabama University that is not Alabama University. 'Nuff said. Stevie gets a frown on this one. The SEC sneaks one into the rankings for free.
#12. Arkansas Razorbacks. Another SEC team that seems to catch Stevie's eyes. For some reason I think he has them confused with Alabama University, that is, Roll Tide, not Tiger Pride. Arkansas is the Tennessee of the SEC, if Tennessee was in another conference.
#13. UNLV Runnin' Rebels. I'm starting to question Stevie's logic, but only in my mind. He knows when I am criticizing him, and then pees on me. Sooooo, this Mountain West Conference team may surprise everyone, for Stevie's sake.
#14. Virginia Cavaliers. This ACC team has potential as usual. Stevie likes them because their helmet reminds him of vagina, oddly.
#15. North Carolina State Wolfpack. Another ACC team, another crummy pick. Stevie must have been getting tired at this point.
#16. Colorado State Rams. The Mountain West Conference has good teams, this is not one of them. Bad Stevie!
#17. Marshall Thundering Herd. Which part of "We Are Marshall" will we see this season? Perhaps Stevie is right and properly predicted a conference dominance for the Herd.
#18. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. What did I say before, Stevie is right about the Scum Belt being BCS busters. Will it be Troy or WKU? Neither? What is the Scum Belt? All I know is that NMSU sucked so bad in this conference they were sent to play in the WAC to be Boise State's practice team.
#19. NMSU Aggies. In what is apparently a joke, Stevie picked the worst team in the WAC to become the new WAC BCS hopeful. With a new coach from a BCS conference who knows what heights they will soar to? I predict middle of the bottom of the barrel. Stevie is obviously being facetious.
#20. Ohio State Buckeyes. The Big Ten devastators are back again for another season of barely beating everyone. They may beat NMSU by more then ten points though.
#21. Texas Longhorns. the Big 12 South "always favorites" will most likely move up in Stevie's rankings quickly.
#22. Arizona Wildcats. Luck of the draw. Pac 10 pushovers.
#23. Clemson Tigers. ACC contender with the kitty paw helmet.
#24. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Another ACC team, big "?" on their season.
#25. Virgina Tech Hokies. Probably the most underrated ACC team. Stevie should have picked them for the top ten.

So how does Stevie have the conferences matched up? He has 5 ACC teams in the top 25, 3 Big East teams, 2 MWC, 3 SEC teams, 1 MAC, 3 PAC 10, 2 Big 12, 2 Scum Belt, 1 Independent, 1 Conference USA, 1 WAC, and 1 Big 10 team.

Looks like each conference is represented well, I am looking forward to seeing how his insight works out!

Come back soon for the week 1 Stevie's Picks!

NMSU athletics can't afford lunchables

Say it isn't so!

Maybe Dr. Boston could lighten up on his salary and have that added to the FB budget? Perhaps working with Aramark towards storing leftover food from the dinner meal that would otherwise be thrown away?

It's sad that the athletics department can only think of crying out to fans and/or alumni. Makes sense though, NMSU alumni are funding Hal Dummy's severance pay.

I do think it is great that fans are coming out to bring the players snacks, I just hope those bringing the snacks never badmouth government social programs.

Who knows, maybe Richard Branson/USA Soccer/Indios/Tony Samuel/Super Liga fanboy aggiefansince83 (from www.aggiealert.com) is right and Richard Branson will donate tons of cash to the football program for Las Cruces voting to let the spaceport move in, team USA will play the indios at AMS and bring in tons of revenue for the program, Tony Samuel will come knocking at his door, and someone else that posts on www.aggiealert.com will watch a Super Liga game with him. Ok, I embelleshed that a bit, but seriously, aggiefansince83 needs to take a xanax and watch porn for a few hours. For the rest of the aggie faithful at the before mentioned website, please stay non-delusional!

First post!

So I have finally managed to find time for this... my own college football blog! Some of you might not like what I have to say but I do not give a shit! I will focus a lot on the WAC since it is the conference I am most familiar with. I will showcase a portion of this blog dedicated to my son Stevie who will be picking the preseason top 25 and week by week picks from the WAC and mostly top 25 games.

So, I will start off with a short recap of last season.

First, the WAC!

NMSU: After four years of Hal Dummy pretending to be a football coach and swindling hundreds of thousands of dollars in salary, NMSU Athletics director McKinley Boston made the best decision of his current duration as AD... he fired Hal Dummy! Hal Dummy did leave with something to hold on to, two wins against "powerhouse" neighbor UTEP, two very close and ugly victories. He couldn't seem to beat UNM which at least would have given him a 25 year contract extension. Beating UTEP is like getting to feel up your sister. I don't want to talk about the Arkansas Pine Bluff game from a couple seasons ago, except this much, Michigan would have beaten the tar out of them, and we know how much Michigan hates Div1AA teams. (Fuck the new FBS, FCS, PBS, PMS, BS designations given to college football divisions!) I could talk all day about the bruising defeats dealt to the Aggies over the past four seasons, but I must move on to the last season recap. Shitty. Not a complete sentence, but it is certainly a statement. Losing homecoming to Boise State was expected, but a shutout, a big shutout is unacceptable. Most NMSU fans know the BS excuses Hal Dummy used, but we know that he just didn't give a fuck anymore. Last I heard Hal Dummy found out he has prostate cancer, I just can't find it in me to feel sorry for him.

NMSU has a new coach now. I predict now they will have another shitty season. With the prime offensive players gone the offense will sputter, but maight have their moments. The defense will do ok with the former LB coach from UCLA, but not well enough to keep opponents at bay.

Idaho: They have always sucked, and last season was business as usual. They did happen to beat NMSU.

Utah State: (See Idaho)

Louisiana Tech: This is my new favorite WAC team. I was surprised by their success last year, finishing second in the conference, and being the only WAC team to win a bowl game. Oh, and they beat NMSU.

Nevada: The pistol fired off a lot of rounds again, but fo rsome reason they managed to be the only team in the WAC that could not beat NMSU. They pulled off enough WAC wins to finish in the three way tie for second place in the WAC.

Hawaii: After June Jones proved his loyalty to money and not a successful program, the Hawaii Rainblows were back to being "just another WAC team". Of course, they can brag about beating NMSU, if it was actually a challenge. I will say this much, they did struggle a bit to beat the Aggies, but maybe they didn't bring enough pineapple with them. It was fun seeing a Hawaii player run halfway across the field to cheap shot Polo Gutierrez into unconscienciousness. Polo even thought it was pretty funny, he told me himself in the class we happened to take together. oh, I almost forgot! Hawaii got "comptoned" by Notre Dame in their bowl game. They even lost to Utah State! Must have been too cold!

San Jose State: .500 season, pretty normal for the defense prone team. I watched them get two pick-6's against NMSU during the first half as they easily beat them 31 - 14. The rest of their season was bland, notching wins against pathetic programs in some cases barely sqeaking by. Bleh, enough about the Fartans.

Fresno State: Yes, finally a nationally respected program! Or not? A team that should have placed second to Boise State ended up having a very WACky season. They showed promise of a memorable season when they played #13 Wisconsin while ranked #21, but lost by three in a nailbiter. From then on they went on to beat WAC of the Ohio Valley, MAC opponent Toldeo, in a 2 OT slugfest, leaving many to wonder, where the fuck is the defense? After beating PAC-10 flounder UCLA, they lost to Hawaii in OT. From there on they would only beat bottom feeders and lose to Colorado State in the Nobody Cares Bowl.

And now for WAC champ, Boise State: Same story, different season. Be the only team in the WAC worth watching. Too bad they lost a heartbreaker to TCU in the No Playoffs in the BCS Yet Bowl.

My predictions for this next season in the WAC: As of now, the worst teams will continue to be Idaho, Utah State, and NMSU. The top teams will be Boise State and Louisiana Tech. The other teams will fight each other for the remaining two crappy ambiguously sponsored bowl bids in which they will lose to a Conference USA or Sun Belt team. Boise State will yet again dominate a crusty yet scrappy middle of the pack out of conference schedule, smash all WAC opponents, cry because they are not in the BCS championship game, and the fans will beat their dicks over the prospect of moving to the ultimate conference in the west that is not the PAC-10, the Mountain West Conference.

The rest of college football: Last season was entertaining yet again. I watched Florida lose to Mississippi, yet somehow make it to the BCS championship, which was a given since they were playing Chokelahoma. Imagine that, I got to see the two teams I abhor the most play eachother for the 'ship. I guess I am satisfied with the Chokelahoma Schooners losing their 7th straight bowl game. I still despise Tim Tebow for turning the Heisman acceptance speech into a fracking sermon. He is a decent player, although I am still waiting for him to blame Jesus for losing to Mississippi last season and Michigan two season ago after winning the Heisman.

Anyway, I don't feel much like talking about last season too much, I'm mostly looking forward to this season. Soon Stevie's Picks will be showcased here, and it should be fun seeing how well he does. I will have his top 25 picks first, then before week one his WAC picks and top 25 picks!