Stevie's Picks preseason Top 25

Yeah, I know my photo editing skills suck, I don't care. But the time has come for Stevie's top 25, or in this case his top 20, and the last five picked from the front of the shuffled pile. You might be surprised to see some of his picks.

I used a simple method to determine his picks. Since he is only a month old and cannot talk, I asked him to stick his tongue out when he made a pick. I shuffled the helmet printouts before beginning the arduous task of keeping his attention. I took the first helmet from the stack and showed it to him. I counted to five for each helmet and based on whether or not he stuck his tongue out the helmet was placed either at the bottom of the stack, or in the top 25 pile.

So, let's get to it! Here is Stevie's Picks Top 25!

#1. Troy University Trojans. This team from the Scum Belt Conference is obviously Stevie's ideal candidate from the BCS buster conference in the making. According to Stevie Troy is pumped up about their potential to knock off Florida after their tune up game against MAC contender Bowling Green.
#2. Colorado Buffaloes. "The Big 12 cellar dwellers are much better than people think", says Stevie. I think that's what he meant when he was staring at me. Better to say they were just resting up last season. Plan on seeing them battle to the death with every team they play. I guess Stevie is tired of seeing Chokelahoma win the Big 12 and then play like they all have herpes in their bowl game.
#3. Oregon Ducks. This Pac 10 powerhouse has everything, a cool name, green helmets, and a season opener against Boise St. Stevie expects the Ducks to poop all over the ugly blue turf and make it a real color that can only be called "Stevie Green". If Oregon can keep their bowel movements regular they may be playing for the NC.
#4. Mississippi Rebels. The SEC's personal "Keep Florida in check" team has one thing that sets them at the top of the SEC, southern dialect written on their helmet. Stevie thinks they may manage to distract the English majors on the opponents teams with their incorrect usage and lazy abbreviations. With this advantage they shouldn't have to compete with Tim Teblow and the other SEC Heisman talent.
#5. Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Yeah, Stevie is looking forward to the return of "Rudy". Not much else he wanted to say about his pick, except they better not suck against Nevada.
#6. Washington Huskies. I don't know what to say, Stevie is a radical. I'll agree that his pick is legit if they can beat Idaho. Why are they still in the PAC 10?
#7. Akron Zips. The always top team in the MAC (alphabetically), should shock the universe when the blow out Penn State like a motor that ran out of Quaker State. Their big challenge will be Buffalo, if they can beat them they will be on pace to reach a BCS bowl.
#8. West Virginia Mountaineers. The Big East may have one team with a chance at the NC, maybe West Virginia will beat that team.
#9. Louisville Cardinals. They will compete well with conference rival West Virginia, possibly ending in a tie for the Big East title.
#10. Rutgers Scarlet Knights. Another Big East team in the top ten! What has Stevie been drinking? I expect them to fail miserably, and even struggle against Howard.
#11. Auburn University Tigers. The Alabama University that is not Alabama University. 'Nuff said. Stevie gets a frown on this one. The SEC sneaks one into the rankings for free.
#12. Arkansas Razorbacks. Another SEC team that seems to catch Stevie's eyes. For some reason I think he has them confused with Alabama University, that is, Roll Tide, not Tiger Pride. Arkansas is the Tennessee of the SEC, if Tennessee was in another conference.
#13. UNLV Runnin' Rebels. I'm starting to question Stevie's logic, but only in my mind. He knows when I am criticizing him, and then pees on me. Sooooo, this Mountain West Conference team may surprise everyone, for Stevie's sake.
#14. Virginia Cavaliers. This ACC team has potential as usual. Stevie likes them because their helmet reminds him of vagina, oddly.
#15. North Carolina State Wolfpack. Another ACC team, another crummy pick. Stevie must have been getting tired at this point.
#16. Colorado State Rams. The Mountain West Conference has good teams, this is not one of them. Bad Stevie!
#17. Marshall Thundering Herd. Which part of "We Are Marshall" will we see this season? Perhaps Stevie is right and properly predicted a conference dominance for the Herd.
#18. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. What did I say before, Stevie is right about the Scum Belt being BCS busters. Will it be Troy or WKU? Neither? What is the Scum Belt? All I know is that NMSU sucked so bad in this conference they were sent to play in the WAC to be Boise State's practice team.
#19. NMSU Aggies. In what is apparently a joke, Stevie picked the worst team in the WAC to become the new WAC BCS hopeful. With a new coach from a BCS conference who knows what heights they will soar to? I predict middle of the bottom of the barrel. Stevie is obviously being facetious.
#20. Ohio State Buckeyes. The Big Ten devastators are back again for another season of barely beating everyone. They may beat NMSU by more then ten points though.
#21. Texas Longhorns. the Big 12 South "always favorites" will most likely move up in Stevie's rankings quickly.
#22. Arizona Wildcats. Luck of the draw. Pac 10 pushovers.
#23. Clemson Tigers. ACC contender with the kitty paw helmet.
#24. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Another ACC team, big "?" on their season.
#25. Virgina Tech Hokies. Probably the most underrated ACC team. Stevie should have picked them for the top ten.

So how does Stevie have the conferences matched up? He has 5 ACC teams in the top 25, 3 Big East teams, 2 MWC, 3 SEC teams, 1 MAC, 3 PAC 10, 2 Big 12, 2 Scum Belt, 1 Independent, 1 Conference USA, 1 WAC, and 1 Big 10 team.

Looks like each conference is represented well, I am looking forward to seeing how his insight works out!

Come back soon for the week 1 Stevie's Picks!

NMSU athletics can't afford lunchables

Say it isn't so!

Maybe Dr. Boston could lighten up on his salary and have that added to the FB budget? Perhaps working with Aramark towards storing leftover food from the dinner meal that would otherwise be thrown away?

It's sad that the athletics department can only think of crying out to fans and/or alumni. Makes sense though, NMSU alumni are funding Hal Dummy's severance pay.

I do think it is great that fans are coming out to bring the players snacks, I just hope those bringing the snacks never badmouth government social programs.

Who knows, maybe Richard Branson/USA Soccer/Indios/Tony Samuel/Super Liga fanboy aggiefansince83 (from www.aggiealert.com) is right and Richard Branson will donate tons of cash to the football program for Las Cruces voting to let the spaceport move in, team USA will play the indios at AMS and bring in tons of revenue for the program, Tony Samuel will come knocking at his door, and someone else that posts on www.aggiealert.com will watch a Super Liga game with him. Ok, I embelleshed that a bit, but seriously, aggiefansince83 needs to take a xanax and watch porn for a few hours. For the rest of the aggie faithful at the before mentioned website, please stay non-delusional!

First post!

So I have finally managed to find time for this... my own college football blog! Some of you might not like what I have to say but I do not give a shit! I will focus a lot on the WAC since it is the conference I am most familiar with. I will showcase a portion of this blog dedicated to my son Stevie who will be picking the preseason top 25 and week by week picks from the WAC and mostly top 25 games.

So, I will start off with a short recap of last season.

First, the WAC!

NMSU: After four years of Hal Dummy pretending to be a football coach and swindling hundreds of thousands of dollars in salary, NMSU Athletics director McKinley Boston made the best decision of his current duration as AD... he fired Hal Dummy! Hal Dummy did leave with something to hold on to, two wins against "powerhouse" neighbor UTEP, two very close and ugly victories. He couldn't seem to beat UNM which at least would have given him a 25 year contract extension. Beating UTEP is like getting to feel up your sister. I don't want to talk about the Arkansas Pine Bluff game from a couple seasons ago, except this much, Michigan would have beaten the tar out of them, and we know how much Michigan hates Div1AA teams. (Fuck the new FBS, FCS, PBS, PMS, BS designations given to college football divisions!) I could talk all day about the bruising defeats dealt to the Aggies over the past four seasons, but I must move on to the last season recap. Shitty. Not a complete sentence, but it is certainly a statement. Losing homecoming to Boise State was expected, but a shutout, a big shutout is unacceptable. Most NMSU fans know the BS excuses Hal Dummy used, but we know that he just didn't give a fuck anymore. Last I heard Hal Dummy found out he has prostate cancer, I just can't find it in me to feel sorry for him.

NMSU has a new coach now. I predict now they will have another shitty season. With the prime offensive players gone the offense will sputter, but maight have their moments. The defense will do ok with the former LB coach from UCLA, but not well enough to keep opponents at bay.

Idaho: They have always sucked, and last season was business as usual. They did happen to beat NMSU.

Utah State: (See Idaho)

Louisiana Tech: This is my new favorite WAC team. I was surprised by their success last year, finishing second in the conference, and being the only WAC team to win a bowl game. Oh, and they beat NMSU.

Nevada: The pistol fired off a lot of rounds again, but fo rsome reason they managed to be the only team in the WAC that could not beat NMSU. They pulled off enough WAC wins to finish in the three way tie for second place in the WAC.

Hawaii: After June Jones proved his loyalty to money and not a successful program, the Hawaii Rainblows were back to being "just another WAC team". Of course, they can brag about beating NMSU, if it was actually a challenge. I will say this much, they did struggle a bit to beat the Aggies, but maybe they didn't bring enough pineapple with them. It was fun seeing a Hawaii player run halfway across the field to cheap shot Polo Gutierrez into unconscienciousness. Polo even thought it was pretty funny, he told me himself in the class we happened to take together. oh, I almost forgot! Hawaii got "comptoned" by Notre Dame in their bowl game. They even lost to Utah State! Must have been too cold!

San Jose State: .500 season, pretty normal for the defense prone team. I watched them get two pick-6's against NMSU during the first half as they easily beat them 31 - 14. The rest of their season was bland, notching wins against pathetic programs in some cases barely sqeaking by. Bleh, enough about the Fartans.

Fresno State: Yes, finally a nationally respected program! Or not? A team that should have placed second to Boise State ended up having a very WACky season. They showed promise of a memorable season when they played #13 Wisconsin while ranked #21, but lost by three in a nailbiter. From then on they went on to beat WAC of the Ohio Valley, MAC opponent Toldeo, in a 2 OT slugfest, leaving many to wonder, where the fuck is the defense? After beating PAC-10 flounder UCLA, they lost to Hawaii in OT. From there on they would only beat bottom feeders and lose to Colorado State in the Nobody Cares Bowl.

And now for WAC champ, Boise State: Same story, different season. Be the only team in the WAC worth watching. Too bad they lost a heartbreaker to TCU in the No Playoffs in the BCS Yet Bowl.

My predictions for this next season in the WAC: As of now, the worst teams will continue to be Idaho, Utah State, and NMSU. The top teams will be Boise State and Louisiana Tech. The other teams will fight each other for the remaining two crappy ambiguously sponsored bowl bids in which they will lose to a Conference USA or Sun Belt team. Boise State will yet again dominate a crusty yet scrappy middle of the pack out of conference schedule, smash all WAC opponents, cry because they are not in the BCS championship game, and the fans will beat their dicks over the prospect of moving to the ultimate conference in the west that is not the PAC-10, the Mountain West Conference.

The rest of college football: Last season was entertaining yet again. I watched Florida lose to Mississippi, yet somehow make it to the BCS championship, which was a given since they were playing Chokelahoma. Imagine that, I got to see the two teams I abhor the most play eachother for the 'ship. I guess I am satisfied with the Chokelahoma Schooners losing their 7th straight bowl game. I still despise Tim Tebow for turning the Heisman acceptance speech into a fracking sermon. He is a decent player, although I am still waiting for him to blame Jesus for losing to Mississippi last season and Michigan two season ago after winning the Heisman.

Anyway, I don't feel much like talking about last season too much, I'm mostly looking forward to this season. Soon Stevie's Picks will be showcased here, and it should be fun seeing how well he does. I will have his top 25 picks first, then before week one his WAC picks and top 25 picks!