Stevie's Picks Week 1, Saturday, September 5th

Stevie is excited for the first Saturday of football! So excited he couldn't focus on making picks for Thursday's games. But tonight he had some free time in between pooping, eating, crying, and sleeping to pick a few outcomes.

His first pick is a wise one.

USC over San Jose State: Stevie says San Jose State has as much offense as the Citadel has cheerleaders. He believes the Trojans will overcome the Spartan defense and prevail in a great classical asswhoopin.

Nevada over Notre Dame: Stevie keeps saying that the whole "Rudy" story is as fabricated as WMD's in Iraq. He predicts the Wolfpack will shoot their way all over the field, kinda like Tera Patrick's face.

Georgia over Oklahoma State: Two things Stevie believes whole-heartedly, there are no real cowboys in Oklahoma, and Bulldogs are fucking terrifying.

Akron over Penn State: Stevie is taking a shot in the dark here, and making a risky decision and calling the first huge upset of the season. "Those pesky MAC teams are getting pissed being surrounded by superior conferences, and they are getting their revenge", Stevie said last week while peeing on my hand.

Navy over Ohio State: He's going against me on this one, I think I'm right, we'll see though, Ohio State can't seem to really whoop any of their pre-conference tune up games.

NMSU over Idaho: This was a tough pick for him, he couldn't decide who had the worse advantage, NMSU and their snack shortage, or Idaho and their incredibly shitty road record.

Virginia Tech over Alabama: Stevie said "Forrest Gump was more bullshit than Rudy." Hollywood, my son has it out for you.

Louisiana Tech over Auburn: Stevie thinks the WAC is going to show overall improvement this season. There should be some good upsets and out of conference victories. It's a longshot for the Bulldogs, but they will shock the SEC and the BCS this Saturday.

BYU over Chokelahoma: Stevie basically said the same thing I said in my prediction.

That's it for Stevie's Picks for week 1!

The method I used this time was I held up the helmets for the two opposing teams in front of him, in which he would have to choose one to look at. Before I held them up, I swapped the helmets a random number of times without looking at which hand they were in. His pick was the first helmet he looked at, and he did vary on which hand he looked at.

Happy Football everyone!